It's not like me to post something so devoid of pinkness and frillyness....but today i am feeling very un-frou frou like and mostly blue...not pink at all.
You see a week or so ago i made the decision to offer my horse for sale to the lady who leases him....big decision...it took some real strength on my part.
The reason being that i know in my heart i will never ride him again. For those who dont know i had a bad fall a few years back, then some other problems with my back to follow...resulting in surgery. Even though i wasnt told to 'Never ride a horse again', something inside me tells me not to. My fear is having another accident and doing more permanent damage to my back.....damage that may prevent me from ever running around crazy again with Sam, picking him up in my arms for a big "Guts Squeeze" as he calls it......stuff like that.
And so, i made the choice.....my family and my life are more important.
So today the lady (Sue) is coming over with the money......i am dreading it...i keep watching the clock and my stomache is in knots... It makes it so official you know....this beautiful big animal whos been in our family for 11 years.....now he will legally belong to someone else.
Gosh im crying as im typing.
Anyone who is an animal lover will understand this im sure.....imagine that little furry friend who's sitting on your lap now or curled up at your feet...imagine them gone.....its a heart breaker.
I know i am doing the right thing, Kobi (my horse) has been at Sues for 2 years now and she adores him...its where he now belongs....but will someone please just tell my heart that.
Ok sorry to ramble on and put a damper on things, thats so not like me is it.
I guess i just needed to get it out, write it all down and for a friend to re-assure me that the sun will come out tomorrow.
Thanks for reading my lovely sweet friends.....
Heres my boy...oh cant i still say hes mine for just a little while longer..??